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This blog is the second in a series by & about Community Renewal's community partners, showcasing the incredible opportunities & resources available in Pottawatomie County. Today is National Baby Day, so on theme our guest writer is Lacey Holt, Executive Director at Legacy Parenting Center; welcome! --- New baby, tired mama. Same thing, different day. Cry. Poop. Eat. Little sleep. Repeat. Caring for a baby can leave you exhausted to say the least. You can get so lost in the day-to-day duties of infant care that you may lose sight of the miracle that’s unfolding before you. The Importance of the Early Years Every single interaction with your baby is building a foundation for her brain development. When baby cries and you respond to her needs, she learns that crying equals Mama equals comfort. Your response helps build her brain connections and emotional response. Picking baby up when she cries isn’t going to spoil her, you are helping her form the foundation for healthy emotions and relationships. Think about how much a child learns in the first few years of life. Holding her head up, rolling over, cooing, sitting up, crawling, walking (and that’s usually year one!) Toddler and preschool years are filled with learning to regulate emotions, language development, big motor skills like running and climbing, and social skills like playing and sharing with other children. The early years are the most formative years in a child’s life. The early years set the stage for all future learning, relationships, and emotional health. This is the exact reason Legacy Parenting Center works with families from pregnancy to age five. At the base of all learning is the child’s connection to you, the parent. Legacy strives to build stronger, healthier families through education, resources, and mentoring. Free Diapers & Encouraging Parenting Classes Our Earn While You Learn Parent Education Program gives parents the opportunity to learn about your baby’s development, healthy attachment, and skills to build a strong relationship so your child can thrive – not just in childhood, but into adulthood. We believe that relationships drive change. Legacy client families are paired with a volunteer mentor during each appointment in order to build consistent relationships. If you grew up in an unstable environment, having someone consistent in your life that knows your name, cares about your baby, and knows your story is a big deal. Connect with Legacy Parenting Center Client appointments are twice a month and each one earns you points to use to shop in The Legacy Store for items needed for your baby or toddler. Things like clothing, baby equipment (car seats, cribs, etc), and toys, are available in the store. Diapers, wipes, and/or formula are included with each appointment, no points required. In 2020, we partnered with more than 450 families and distributed more than 161,000 diapers to babies. Our hope is to empower parents and impact generations. We would love to meet you and your little one and work together to help build the foundation for their future. Current operating hours are Monday – Thursday 9am-4pm. Give us a call at 405-432-2844! Congratulations on your bundle of joy and remember, this is a short season of cry, poop, and eat. But it’s also a sweet season of relationship building and lots of snuggles! You can learn more about the incredible work of Legacy Parenting Center by visiting their website at legacyshawnee.com.

This blog is the first in a series by & about Community Renewal's community partners, showcasing the incredible opportunities & resources available in Pottawatomie County. Welcome to our blog, YMCA! --- We believe that in a diverse world, we are stronger when we are inclusive and our doors are open to all regardless of race, gender, or income level. It is therefore critical to both our mission and our business that our YMCA develop and integrate strategies to effectively engage, advocate for and serve all. This commitment to access, inclusion and engagement helps to ensure our continued relevancy, viability and impact as a cause-driven organization focused on strengthening our community. Childcare & other important community services Through the past year our world has been turned upside-down. In our country we have witnessed political disagreements, severe division, violence, and pandemic. When our community came to a halt the Shawnee YMCA offered free emergency childcare to front line workers to ease the burden of childcare. At the Shawnee YMCA we believe 2021 will be just as important for us to be here for our community. As our community continues to fully come back, the Shawnee YMCA is dedicated to assisting people with their health & wellness, childcare, recreational activities, and other social issues that may arise. Join the Shawnee YMCA It is easy to be part of the Shawnee YMCA. The Shawnee YMCA has volunteer opportunities for those looking to mentor kids as a youth sports coach or help seniors prepare for group exercise classes (that may also be a little social time). We also make it easy to be a user of the facilities with childcare, household options, and financial assistance if one is unable to pay for membership or programs like childcare and youth sports. The Shawnee YMCA is a local business that is governed by a group of community volunteers that hire local staff to preform daily functions. Our volunteers and staff love our community and the residents that reside within our community. The Shawnee YMCA started in our community in 1903 and we love having the opportunity to continue our legacy for many years to come.

Whether it's your first or thirtieth, throwing a block party can feel overwhelming. This post will help you throw a block party step-by-step. STEP 1: FIND A PARTNER Find someone who will support you as you party whether it’s a roommate, neighbor, or fellow block leader. (And of course, I’m a party support option. Woot!) STEP 2: PUT A DATE ON THE CALENDAR Pick a date with your someone, and put the date on the calendar. Like, pen to paper or thumb to screen, put it on the literal calendar. Things are 300% more likely to happen if you put them on the calendar. (Which is the same as 3x, but 3 is way less impressive than 300.) STEP 3: PICK YOUR ACTIVITY When you consider your activity, think about what you own or have access to. Do you have a projector for a movie night? Does a neighbor have a fire pit? Can you borrow your sister’s cornhole set? This is your opportunity to get creative. If you're a Block Leader, Community Renewal has a lot of stuff to help make your party great that you can use for free! That includes: A six burner grill and accessories A bounce-house from Extreme Inflatables Street closures from the City of Shawnee Party In a Box sets If you want any of those things for your party, you have to make your request at least two weeks before your party by using the Block Party Planner on the Block Leader tools page. STEP 4: CREATE INVITATIONS From writing them by hand to designing them on canva.com, create your invitations however your creative heart desires. I suggest you include: What - Come Eat Ice Cream Who - With Your Neighbors When - June 27th, 1:00-3:00 p.m. Where - 5555 N. Your Street You can include a final note at the bottom like, “See you there!” or “Bring a lawn chair!” You can make fancy invitations when you open a free account at canva.com. You can draw them by hand. However you want to make your invitations is good with us! Want something easier? I've created done-for-you invitation templates! Plug your information in and you're ready to print with a professional looking invite. STEP 5: PASS OUT INVITATIONS Put a date on the calendar to pass out invitations to your block with your someone. Grab your invites and your tape (nothing that will leave marks on the door, of course). Knock or ring the doorbell once. If your neighbor doesn't answer, tape the invitation to their door and move along. (Don't put it in their mailbox. It's illegal.) If your neighbor is home, introduce yourself and let them know about the party. Feel free to chat it up. For most people, walking around invitations is really uncomfortable. It’s okay. You’re not alone. You have my permission to make it as simple as it needs to be. Don't feel obligated to chat for hours. You don't have to make cookies. You don't have to wait for five minutes for them to come to the door. You showing up is enough. You are enough. STEP 6: PREP FOR THE EVENT Prep depends on your activity. Gather the things you need and have an idea of who’s doing what during the event. It’s okay if you want to provide more than what you put on the invite (like providing food if you just said yard games), but don’t feel pressured to. You can keep it simple. You’re doing a huge thing by making space for relationships, and you’re doing an awesome job at it. STEP 7: RELAX. HAVE FUN. You’ve done a great job. Now, have fun at your event in whatever way that looks like for you. If it’s serving up hot dogs, do it. If it’s leaving the dogs to someone else and mingling, do it. You can trust the work you’ve put into this, and you can trust that things are going to unfold just right. Let the event run its course. Another word on the actual event: people may not come. If they don't come, that's okay, too. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You did exactly the right thing by making space for your neighbors. You are enough. Playing the long game just means that, sometimes, the results are further away than we'd like. Keep going. Keep being visible, interacting, and gathering. Good things are ahead. Don't give up!

Perhaps the most important step in any block party is the part where you invite. Of course, you can always handwrite / draw these invitations, create your own online at canva.com, OR you could use these super handy ready-to-use templates! Click the invite you want to download below. Fill in the blue spaces with your party information, and you're ready to print! NOTE: These invite templates are only fillable on a computer. The fill in won’t work with mobile devices like phones or tablets. Sorry! Want more block party support? Click here to learn how to throw a block party step-by-step!

This article was originally published in the Shawnee Outlook, November 2020 edition which can be viewed in full here.

This article & series are published monthly in the Shawnee Outlook. You can view the original publication here !

This article was originally published in the October 2020 edition of the Shawnee Outlook. You can view the original publication here. View the gallery virtually right here on our website at communityrenewal.org/art-birthday!

Community Renewal of Pottawatomie County is currently seeking responses from all Pottawatomie County residents for its Annual Neighborhood Survey. The survey, open through the month of October, hopes to gain feedback from Pottawatomie County citizens to measure the impact of Community Renewal’s services and to gain useful information on how to better serve each area in the county. Community Renewal’s mission is to help neighbors restore community through intentional relationships, and does so through multiple programs that take place in neighborhoods and on school campuses. “People participate in Community Renewal and other community organizations because they want to be a part of something bigger than themselves -- play a role in the bigger picture,” Community Renewal’s Director of Neighboring Zoe Loeser said. “The Annual Neighborhood Survey lets us actually see the bigger picture of our community, but the picture can only be complete when we all do our part in it. Today, doing our part looks like taking eight minutes to fill out the Annual Neighborhood Survey.” Once the survey has been completed, each respondent will be given the chance to enter a giveaway for a $100 visa gift card (there will be 7 winners). “We want to hear about every corner of Pottawatomie County -- how people feel about their neighborhoods -- so that we can do better work in increasing hope & safety in every neighborhood in our community,” Erica Bass, Communications Officer at Community Renewal said. To take the survey and enter the drawing, visit bit.ly/pott20 .

When my husband and I moved to Shawnee, I knew that -- Lord willin' and the creek don't rise -- we were committed to this community for the long run. As in, I'm-in-my-30s-and-we'll-probably-die-here long run. As our long term home, I wanted to be intentional about how I spent my time in Shawnee. I could do a lot of good in those 50 years, but I also knew that good would have to fit with raising kids, working full time, living, and loving. Two things happened as I thought about our move. First, I read a book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. In The Power of Habit, Duhigg describes a “keystone habit.” A keystone habit is one that -- once implemented -- impacts everything else. He talks about a manufacturing company who made its keystone habit to be the safest place to work. When the CEO announced this, investors starting pulling out. Was he crazy? Those investors didn’t anticipate that the safety habit would ensure their workers had the best training, the best equipment, the best management, and the best lines of communication. Their bottom dollar, employee retention, and -- yes -- safety ratings went through the roof. Second, I listened to a lecture from a superintendent in an Oklahoma City southside school district, an under-resourced area of the community. He said that he wanted to make his school district the best place for a student to get an education. My brain started connecting dots, running down the list of things you think about with “best place for a student.” Of course, that’s academics, truancy, drop-out rates, and literacy. But it’s also gun violence, gang violence, racism, ableism, sexism, incarceration rates, hiring practices, teacher morale. Making sure the school is the best place for a student also means making sure home is the best place for a student. If a kid’s been verbally abused that morning, it’ll take their hormones levels several hours to get back to normal, making attempts to teach them math or social studies moot. It ensures not only parent involvement in the student’s work but care for the parent. The superintendent finished his lecture and asked for questions or comments. “It’s a keystone habit,” I said. “It impacts everything.” That day, I wrote in my journal, “How do we make Shawnee the best place to raise a kid in the United States?” Not that I'm particularly fond of kids. I'm a one or two at a time kind of kid person. But as I chewed more and more on the superintendent’s intention, I found it to be a keystone habit for a community, too. It means our best schools, yes. It also means safe neighborhoods, stable jobs, and community involvement. Pick an issue and this question addresses it: homelessness, addiction, trafficking, hunger, foster care, domestic violence. I’d found my problem to solve and set a deadline: “Help make Shawnee the best place to raise a kid in the United States by 2068.” That was fifty years down the road and the year I turned 80. It felt reasonable enough. Getting to Shawnee, I kept an eye out for organizations whose work would have the most impact on my mission, an organization already doing the thing, and I could hop on board. Meanwhile, I threw an ice-cream party to meet the neighbors and bring together the folks we’d already met around town. My husband heard about an organization in town that would give you money if you were having neighbor parties. Our school debt ever-present and me kicking off my “writing career,” I gave them a call and asked about money for the party. Apparently, that wasn’t exactly what the organization did, but they did have a free lunch for me if I wanted to hear their pitch. Sitting in a conference room with 25 other community members, I heard about Community Renewal -- a neighboring movement that helps neighbors restore community through intentional relationships. They talked about how societies are built on a foundation of relationships. They talked about the 32 civilizations we can study and how they’ve all collapsed after relationships started to crumble. They told us that if we can build relationships across our community, neighbor-by-neighbor, block-by-block, we can create the safe, caring world we all want. And then, the pièce de résistance. Community Renewal started in Shreveport, Louisiana, 25 years ago in a neighborhood called Allendale. Allendale was so rough that police had to escort ambulances and fire trucks into the neighborhoods, because people would shoot at them and steal stuff off their trucks. Gradually, though, the police noticed they weren’t being called out as often, and they began tracking Allendale’s major crimes. Sitting in that conference room, they told me that after 25 years of neighbors building relationships, major crime went down in Allendale 62% and so far that year there had been zero drug arrests. Zero drug arrests. Zero. It wasn’t gentrification. It’s not now brimming with hipsters and artisan pizza. It’s not even an anomaly: they’ve seen a 50% average decrease in major crimes in their five under-resourced neighborhoods. It was the neighbors, born and raised there, restoring community through intentional relationships. Being true to my tale, I’ll say that I’m a Jesus follower, and my first thought at hearing that was, “Jesus was right.” My second thought was, “This is it.” It wasn’t that the decrease in crime was so impressive, though it clearly was. It's because the decrease in crime was an unintended consequence of the simple act of neighbors getting to know each other. I’ve worked with Community Renewal for four years now, my first year as a block leader and the last three on staff. All the research I read, over and over again, continues to point to building social capital (aka healthy relationships), particularly in neighborhoods, being the solution. Take a peek at some of these quotes: Relationship capital had surpassed financial capital as the scarce, crucial resource that now dictates whether societies either advance or regress. Robert Hall, This Land of Strangers Also, since our minds are shaped by our social communication, the mind can be seen as a relational process as much as it is one dependent on our body’s nervous system, including the brain. Dr. Dan J Seigel, Parenting from the Inside Out In a meta-analysis of studies on loneliness, researchers Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B Smith, and J Bradley Layton found the following: Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5 percent. Living with obesity, 20 percent. Excessive drinking, 30 percent. And living with loneliness? It increases our odds of dying early by 45 percent. Dr. Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness Here’s a slew from Robert D Putnam’s foundational work on social capital Bowling Alone: "States with more social capital have proportionately fewer murders. This inverse relationship is astonishingly strong -- as close to perfect as one might find between any two social phenomena. Across the various Kids Count indicators, social capital is second only to poverty in the breadth and depth of its effects on children's lives. … our analysis suggests that for some outcomes - particularly SAT scores - the impact of race, poverty, and adult education levels is only indirect. These factors seem to influence the level of social capital in a state, and social capital - not poverty or demographic characteristics per se - drives test scores. Community psychologists have long noted that child abuse rates are higher where neighborhood cohesion is lower. For example, in a widely cited study of two neighborhoods, one with a high child maltreatment rate and the other with a low rate, social capital turned out to be the main factor that distinguished the two communities. These neighborhoods had similar income levels and similar rates of working women and single-parent households. However, in the high-risk neighborhoods, residents were far more reluctant to ask for help from a neighbor. Parents in the high-abuse area were also far less likely to report exchanging childcare with a neighbor or allowing their kids to play with others in the neighborhoods… Informal social networks help shield children from their parents worst moments." Strong Neighborhood Relationships Vital for Societal Health The evidence is overwhelming. Stronger neighborhood relationships may not be the only answer for the systemic issues in our community, but it’s my answer. Connected to dozens of other non-profits serving individuals and families in Shawnee, Community Renewal block leaders connect neighbors to the relationships and resources that they need to thrive. I had a vision while walking through Walmart just after being hired as block leader coordinator. We ask block leaders to pick 5-15 homes to build relationships with by being visible, interacting, and gathering (BIG). It will take 900 block leaders in Shawnee for every 15 homes to have someone looking out for it, and 1000 block leaders in greater Pottawatomie County. As I watched people going about their grocery shopping, I started to tear up, thinking that one day every person I could see would have at least one person looking out for them in their neighborhood. No one would be alone. But we need you. The block leaders need you, those 15 neighbors need you, our community needs you. Together, neighbor to neighbor, block to block, we can make Shawnee the best place to raise a kid in the United States by 2068, just by stepping outside our front doors. Join us.

We block leaders are individuals trained by Community Renewal of Pottawatomie County to volunteer in our own neighborhoods to be neighbors who are restoring community through intentional relationships. To fulfill this mission, we pick 5 to 15 neighboring households with whom we build intentional relationships through being visible to them, interacting with them, and gathering them together – also known as BIG. Being visible means being in front of the 5-15 households often enough and in ways that they can recognize our faces. We might be visible by going for walks, working in our yards, or moving our backyard activities to the front yard. Interacting with the 5-15 households means verbally interacting with them. We can do this by inviting a neighbor to walk with us, asking a neighbor about their yard, or visiting while we’re in our front yards. Gathering is inviting or bringing together three or more of the households not including our own. Some examples of gathering could be walking together, hosting a seed swap, or hosting a cookout. If we invite at least three households not including our own to gather, we still celebrate it as a gathering even if less than three come. Showing up for our neighborhood is a vulnerable experience, and we celebrate our bravery to do so. While we’ve given some common examples of how block leaders are BIG in their neighborhoods, each Block Leader practices BIG in a way that fits their life and lifestyle. Being BIG in our neighborhoods starts off like any other habit: it feels risky, hard, and sometimes downright silly. We can forget to do it or put it off. But we can testify that – when we persist – intentional, restorative, neighborhood relationships become a part of our daily lives. Some may resist being organized as block leaders. “I can do that on my own,” they say, “Why do I need to be a part of an organization?” We organize ourselves as block leaders through Community Renewal of Pottawatomie County for eight reasons: Reason 1: To Build Relationships. Relationships come first as block leaders. As block leaders, we are people from many walks of life connected across the community, allowing us to develop our own empathy and connection, combating loneliness that is dividing our country, our communities, and our lives. Reason 2: To Share Ideas. To start anything new, there must be a path to get there. As block leaders, we share ideas to help each other get going and keep going. Reason 3: To Share Resources. We have more together. Being block leaders allows us to share resources, so none of us go without being who we need to be for our neighbors and for ourselves. Reason 4: To Share Responsibility. Neighboring, especially hosting larger gatherings like block parties, can be a lot. As block leaders, we can share one another’s loads, so we can get the job done and have fun doing it. Reason 5: Support Each Other. We will not love our neighbors perfectly. As block leaders, we support each other through empathy, encouragement, brainstorming, celebration, and reminders to have fun! Reason 6: Accountability. It’s easy for life to get away from us. As block leaders, we are accountable to each other and to our block leader commitment. Reason 7: Paint the Bigger Picture. It’s hard to see the bigger picture when we’re neighboring on our own. As block leaders, we play a part in painting the bigger picture of who our community’s becoming. We help see this picture form by submitting the monthly Block Leader Survey, submitting the Annual Neighborhood Survey, and by sharing the Annual Neighborhood Survey with our neighbors and friends. Reason 8: It's fun! In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, researcher Brene Brown identifies 10 guideposts to being a wholehearted person. “Cultivating Play and Rest” is number seven. Both play and rest are physical needs, just like relationships, that combat depression and other mental illnesses. We agree that this world could use a little more play, and we are pleased to help facilitate that in our neighborhoods. We believe that, because of these reasons, anyone seeking intentional relationships in their neighborhoods are capable of joining us in this work. None of us are perfect people: much the opposite. We celebrate our humanity with its weaknesses and flaws. It guides us towards engaging with other people so that we may be stronger together.

One of the best recommendations we have for those neighbors who already have a basic level of trust within their neighborhood is to spearhead a neighborhood directory project. While it might seem strange at first, an informal directory for the neighborhood opens up communication lines and channels for care that would otherwise take much longer to develop. To get you started, we created the following downloadable template! Get the directory template here:

This exercise was originally developed as an activity for Part 2 of the Illuminating Social Isolation workshop series; it is effective with or without watching the accompanying video, but you can find the series here if you'd like the extra guidance! Social circles are a tool used to look at who a person interacts with. While often used in businesses and marketing models, it is also useful for understanding social isolation and seeing how you compare to the healthy average. Here are some quick steps mapping out your own social circles. The method I describe below ends up looking a bit like the spider web of connecting names. Step 1: Social Outlets Draw something in the middle of a paper to represent you, then make a quick scattering of names and groups around you. These are all the people you interact with and have relationships with. Not just your friends but also family, work interactions, religious groups, hobby groups, volunteering, neighbors, or people from places you visit a lot as well (for example that barista who gives you your coffee almost every time you have gone in the past couple months). You can group them together under one title or name or name them all individually. Put them in shapes if you want, it is up to you. Just get your social connections down. Step 2: Rate Your Connection Strength Connect the names back to yourself with meaningful lines. Dotted, dashed, solid, loopy, it does not really matter if you can record which people you are most connected to and who you have the strongest and closest relationships with. Here the lines with the arrows are the most meaningful, with the solid lines after, and then the zigzag lines, and finally the dotted line. If you want to break up groups at this point because you have a different relationship with some people in the group you can. Step 3: Assess Inter-Relation Next, connect anyone people or groups that are connected to each other. While this step is not required, it can be insightful later. Connect them by circling them, drawing lines between, or some other method. It just needs to make senses to you. Congrats! You have a rough map of your social interactions. By itself though, it can’t do much. Now you need to ask yourself some questions. Who are the people you are closest to, maybe your top 3? Do you have a trusting, strong relationship with these people? If something were to happen, and you could not talk to one of those people consistently, who would you talk to instead when you needed something? Is there anything else that surprised you about your social circle? When you start to think about how to make changes in your life to ensure your social health, you can come back to this to start to get an idea of where to start. Ready to take the next step in increasing your social circle in healthy ways? Join the Neighbor Network and select "I want to gather my neighbors" at registration and Zoe will follow up with you personally!